Suck My Alcott

Six snarky chicks who dig Louisa May.

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  2. I’ve got a ticket to board the Bleeder Express in about five days, so you can probably guess how much I sobbed while putting this together.

    The answer is two days straight and counting.

     
     
  3. The History of A Squash

    “Once upon a time a farmer planted a little seed. in his garden, and after a while it sprouted and became a vine and bore many squashes. One day in October, when they were ripe, he picked one and took it to market. A grocerman bought and put it in his shop. That same morning, a little girl in a brown hat and blue dress, with a round face and snub nose, went and bought it for her mother. She lugged it home, cut it up, and boiled it in the big pot, mashed some of it salt and butter, for dinner. And to the rest she added a pint of milk, two eggs, four spoons of sugar, nutmeg, and some crackers, put it in a deep dish, and baked it till it was brown and nice, and next day it was eaten by a family named March.” - The Pickwick Portfolio, Little Women

     
     
  4. beeauthor:

i have two shameful confessions for the evening.
1) i have, for all my days, had a bit of a hate-on for beth march of little women.
2) i have never seen the movie adaptation of little women until, like… just now.
the reason beth always bothered me is because she reminds me of eeyore. she’s sweet and lovely and adorable and everyone loves her, but she is soooo… ugh. she constantly refers to herself as “poor, stupid beth,” and is forever slipping into conversations how worthless she is and how absolutely shocked she is that anyone cares about her.
BETH. GET IT TOGETHER. PEOPLE LIKE YOU. DEAL WITH IT.
but then i saw the movie adaptation, and not even my cold, dead heart can withstand claire danes’s weepy chin wobble.
it may not be love, but i feel like we’re at least at an understanding, beth and i.

Beth is a typical Angel in the House figure, the Victorian ideal of the beautiful, silent and submissive woman who is really damn good at housework. It’s really damn frustrating to read about now, but you’re so spot on: Claire Danes wins muh cold post-modern heart every time.

    beeauthor:

    i have two shameful confessions for the evening.

    1) i have, for all my days, had a bit of a hate-on for beth march of little women.

    2) i have never seen the movie adaptation of little women until, like… just now.

    the reason beth always bothered me is because she reminds me of eeyore. she’s sweet and lovely and adorable and everyone loves her, but she is soooo… ugh. she constantly refers to herself as “poor, stupid beth,” and is forever slipping into conversations how worthless she is and how absolutely shocked she is that anyone cares about her.

    BETH. GET IT TOGETHER. PEOPLE LIKE YOU. DEAL WITH IT.

    but then i saw the movie adaptation, and not even my cold, dead heart can withstand claire danes’s weepy chin wobble.

    it may not be love, but i feel like we’re at least at an understanding, beth and i.

    Beth is a typical Angel in the House figure, the Victorian ideal of the beautiful, silent and submissive woman who is really damn good at housework. It’s really damn frustrating to read about now, but you’re so spot on: Claire Danes wins muh cold post-modern heart every time.

     
     
  5. back off, Jo

    back off, Jo

     
     
  6. it’s my Christmas wish

    it’s my Christmas wish

     
     
  7. This week on “Sing Along With The Marches!”

    COMING SOON: Stirring renditions of “Hey Ya!”, “Gin and Juice”, and “Gangsta’s Paradise.”

     
     
  8. FUCK THE HUMMELS

    Beth March wants: to make ginger tea with Evangeline, play her piano, and submit recipes to The Pickwick Portfolio.

    Beth March does not want: TO GET SCARLET FEVER AND WASTE AWAY FOR FOUR YEARS.

    Fucking Hummels. You give them a potato, they give you a wasting disease. REAL FRIENDLY